Wildly Focused

Am honestly having a difficult time concentrating lately. I've had to put photography on hold for a bit. 

One thing I have been able to focus on is this book - Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen by Suzanne Scanlon. It's peppered with everything that has shaped her as a person: her three years spent in a mental hospital in NYC in the mid-90's, literary criticism, working through the trauma and death of her mother. Suzanne even writes about how she staunchly worked to become a feminist at 18 years old and how it affected her relationships going forward. I've found it oddly comforting to read this each night.

Some quotes she notes in the book, below.

I am the sun and the moon and forever hungry for her eyes.

- Audre Lorde

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.

- Virginia Woolf

Every night for the last two weeks, I've climbed into bed with Suzanne and her experiences. My little lamp and twinkly, white Christmas lights I never took down because there's already so much dark. 

But there is so much light, I try to remind myself, and joy. Like, balloons and birthday cake and family and that particular sound of wine glasses clinking while saying "cheers!" And so much more.

I'm trying to say my moods vacillate so wildly now. I'm constantly trying to shut thoughts down from my mind and stay focused. Stay focused(!) There are good things happening, too.

Focus on the good.

Focus on the good.

Focus on the good.